DEMONETISE MODI

 

You can love it or hate it. Or you can do both.

EH? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, MAN?

Guys, I'm talking about the Rs 2000 note the Indian government issued in 2016 during the infamous demonetisation exercise by Modiji. Remember that?

 Yeah, I'm talking about the sudden expiry of the Rs 500 and Rs 1000 notes in the Gandhi series and the birth of an ugly avatar in the form of a purple Rs 2000 note. (In case you've forgotten what those dead notes looked like, I've attached pictures of them in the comments below.)

Now the new Rs 500 note did not really shake us up so much as it was just a shorter version with a several shades towards green. Since its value was the same, who cared a £#&_ what it looked like?

The Rs 2000 note, on the other hand is, till today, giving us middle-class people nightmares in the daytime. Truth be told, they are only convenient to use when you are travelling on a vacation and need to slip in a dozen or more in your chor pocket.

 Well, recently, I took a few of these purple babies on our budget vacation to Rajasthan. They came in very handy to pay our hotel bills along the journey, but, to my bad luck, I forgot to reserve change for my final Ola trip to the airport.

 Imagine my plight, guys, when we reached the airport. The ATM was inside the airport; no one wanted to look at this rich man's note, no way. Finally, I caught hold of a rich guy and he gave me the change. Four notes of, you are right, Rs 500 notes.

Now the hunt started to get change for one of these four middle class notes since my poor cabbie was, as you know, from the poor section of society. He started running around asking for change. After some minutes of seeking in vain, I felt sorry for him so I said, "Bhai Sahab, tumare pass kitne paise he?" He takes out all the money in his pocket, some Rs 170 in all. I owed him Rs 229 but was planning on giving him Rs 230. (Funny how these cab fares make you always wanna give more, unwillingly.)

 Anyway, I was desperate, he was desperate, so I said to him, "Woh sab mujhe do aur jao, kisi aur se kum lehna." As if!

 Guy was so happy, relieved to get rid of me and, as he's walking towards his cab, he's probably thinking, "This Rs 2000 note did help us poor people after all. Aaj tho humare lehe ACHHE DIN AA GAYE!" 

There have been so many jokes made about demonetisation that I can't help admiring the Indian people for holding on to the one asset they can always cash in on in times of extreme crisis - their sense of humour. Some of the cutest ones were on Twitter. 

Like for example, one lady confessed,

'Felt so excited to get my 1st Rs. 2000 note, that after getting out of a long queue, I celebrated by spending it & then got back in a queue.'

 Another guy tweeted,

'What? No more Rs 500 and Rs 1000 notes? As a secular country, we ought to respect all denominations.'

A super happy bloke rejoiced that " Hum to bahut khush hai. Ab Rs 501 ke badle Rs 1 he envelope me dalne padege.'

In fact, in 2017, they also celebrated the anniversary of that unfortunate day. The two dead notes were garlanded and prayers were said for their quick ascension to the portals of oblivion. 

I remember the day demonetisation happened so vividly because we were in Mumbai on our way to Nagpur for a Marriage Encounter conference. Our host broke the news to us amid sips of hot tea and butter buns. We were dismayed; we all had several Rs 500 notes and a couple of Rs1000 ones on us. Luckily we also had our debit cards. And the restaurant accepted the swipe! 

In that short span of time, we realized how easily a pro like Modi could grasp collective India by the balls. With one swift move, he started such a hungama that whole India shook and quivered with terror. 

It's three years now and a couple of months from that date - 8 November, to be precise. What has demonetisation done for the citizens of India? 

I quote our very own desi politician Shashi Tharoor who tweeted

 'Today is the 3rd anniversary of the worst self-inflicted wound in the history of the Indian economy, the #DeMonetisationDisaster. Let us never forget what was done to our country by the impulsive wrong-headedness of a vainglorious autocrat.'

Three years ago I experienced utter helplessness; three weeks ago I experienced utter helplessness, thanks to the ugly purple Rs 2000. If Modiji needs to apologise for the wrongs he inflicted on us for these three years then just do one thing, man!

DEMONETISE the Rs 2000 note!!