C0VID COUNTERSTRIKE

 

CV COUNTERSTRIKE 

My eyes popped out of their sockets.

News headline read:

THREE MEN STOLE 600 TOILET PAPER ROLLS IN HONG KONG AMID FEARS OF CORONAVIRUS SHORTAGES.

Wait a minute, Corona virus and toilet paper?

WHAT'S THE CONNECTION?

Naturally, my spider sense tingled and I started Googling. 

As I was busy scanning the news, I received a WhatsApp message from my sister who resides in Australia.

"Auriel, guess where I am? At Aldi's. And guess what's happening here?"

"Toilet paper tamasha?" I replied tentatively.

She was astounded. How did I know?

I told her I had just seen the Hong Kong article and I wasn't a psychic.

She breathed a sigh of relief. "For a moment the thought crossed my mind...Anyway, please pray that these people stop panicking and stop stockpiling toilet paper."

Assuring her of my prayers, I went back to scanning the news for a reason and found these two:

 

The CORONAVIRUS had disrupted manufacturing in China, which is one of the world's key suppliers of toilet paper.

And

There are reports of people panic buying toilet paper and napkins across Asia under the false belief they can be used to make improvised face masks. (Demand for surgical face masks has exploded since the virus was first detected in Wuhan in December, but they're now becoming increasingly hard to find.)

So what is one to do but PANIC, right? 

However, Tim Woods, the managing director of market analyst Industry Edge, told Perth Now Australia imported only 40 per cent of its toilet paper from China and the rest was manufactured locally. And that local manufacturers like Kimberly and Sorbent were more than ready to keep Australia well stocked with toilet paper. So that took care of point number 1.

At this point, I'm finding it hard to control my laughter over point number 2. Toilet paper as facial masks? Really?!! REALLY?!!

And then I found a meme of a whole Aussie family, swathed in white, looking like mummies, and the caption goes:

How Australians plan to protect themselves from CORONAVIRUS.  

Lol.

Anyway, my sister is still worried about this pandemic problem so I gently remind her: 

"Sis, do you remember when I left Australia three months ago and almost soon therafter you guys had those horrific forest fires and water shortage forced you'll to innovate?" 

"Yeah, yeah, I got the kids to do water harvesting and we had a great learning experience. Kids till today haven't forgotten the lessons they learnt, she said, adding proudly, 

"And we are still putting those skills into practice; results are a flourishing veggie garden."

I smiled inwardly, and then I counter-struck. 

"Think of this as God's level 2 in the big game plan. Coronavirus scare challenge round." 

I waited for a few seconds for it to sink in, then I dropped the bomb.

"TEACH THE KIDS TO USE WATER TO WASH THEIR BUMS."

She emojied.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣