FINDING THE DEEPER MEANING OF MARRIAGE.

 FINDING THE DEEPER MEANING OF MARRIAGE.

The idea of being a part of something called the Marriage Encounter Weekend seemed interesting so when I got an invitation for it, I jumped at the opportunity. OF course, convincing my very reluctant husband and freeing my kids from school was another task altogether; but God seemed to be on my side, and I got my family ready for the trip. Eager to get going, we woke up early and tumbled into our van, the boys tired and sleepy, baby cranky, Glenn wary, Kirsten happy to bunk school and myself hopeful. Thus started our journey for the SVD Seminary, nestled in the hills of the sleepy village of Raia.
We arrived as the first session was already underway. A Jesuit priest, Fr.Leslie, was conducting the session along with a team couple from Benaulim, Vicente and Valene. He told us to introduce ourselves to the other four couples and say one good thing that we liked about our spouse. Then he gave us two questions to answer: “Why did I come here this weekend?” and “What do I hope to gain?”
My husband said he had come because I had wanted it and he didn’t want to disappoint me. I said that I had heard about the weekend when my parents used to go for it in Mumbai but never got a chance to do it myself. When Valy and Anna, the organizers, said I could get the kids along, I jumped at the idea.
What did we hope to gain? Well, I said that I hoped to gain insight into the mistakes I could be making in our marriage and to find a way to resolve them. I also hoped that my husband would do the same. Glenn hoped to get a better understanding of me and to build our marriage and family bond.
And so we began the exciting journey into the steps of the Marrriage Encounter weekend. We had to write many love letters, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Glenn warmed up to the talks after the first day and he too enjoyed the letter-writing and dialogues we had in the privacy of the bedroom, with the kids out of our hair for once. We were able to talk freely about our fears, hopes and disappointments in the marriage and to seek and give each other forgiveness. I cried a lot and Glenn tried to understand my fears. It was a momentous turning point for us when I finally felt he understood. I realized that I had been living a married-single lifestyle without even being aware of it and that it was affecting Glenn in a big way.
We decided to make time to dialogue everyday and when asked to write on how we were going to share our couple-love, I wrote “By holding hands and being close together in public, by visiting others as a couple and, by opening the door for Glenn when he comes home tired from work and giving him his cup of tea while he relaxes in bed.” Glenn wrote: “Plan outing at least once a month with wife only, visit the sick and old with wife, and kiss my wife when I get up in the morning.”
As we returned home, Glenn and I were happy to have gone for the weekend, sad to have said farewell to our new friends at the retreat and fearful that the loving atmosphere would vanish once we landed back home.
The next day, we wrote our first love letters at home and discovered it wasn’t difficult at all. I even sent Glenn several love mobile messages through the day and dedicated a song ‘There’ll never be another you’ for us on the radio.
Yes, we are on our way to sharing our feelings, not just with each other, but also with our kids at home. (640 words)